Continued from previous posts

An unseen lake

‘Anti intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge‘ (Isaac Asimov)

‘Too often we forget that discipline really means to teach, not to punish. A disciple is a student, not a recipient of behavioural consequences‘ (From the Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel)

Phrases like ‘you don’t deserve anything’ can carry a lot of old baggage with many implications at the personal and collective level. When spoken or enacted in religious or spiritual, familial or educational contexts early on they set templates of how we perceive ourselves and others, our place in the world, how we respond or carry ourselves and what to expect and put up with. In religious contexts the phrase often stems from the concept of the original sin, misogyny and a need for constant atonement. It can set people, and especially girls, up for a lot of suffering and big T and small t traumas. It can hinder self advocacy and confidence and lead to disempowering behaviours. There are always the recipients of words and beliefs and those who articulate and impose these on others. This dynamic in educational, employment and other social settings results in self righteous punishing and predatory behaviours and deserve over attitudes and practices.

When the belief ‘you don’t deserve anything’ is operating at a non conscious level of awareness it can impact choices and ways of being without our being aware of it. Oftentimes, it can be operating in parallel with more empowering and healthy conscious beliefs; however, the unconscious underlying beliefs tend to be more influential because they are embedded in early frozen memories and emotions. I will provide two simple examples that may resonate with many people who grew up in religious cultures. Read more….