Continued from 30/9/2021 post

Misconceptions and the possibility of change

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly” Henri Bergson

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”  George Bernard Shaw

“As any change must begin somewhere, it is the single individual who will experience it and carry it through. The change must indeed begin with an individual; it might be any one of us. Nobody can afford to look round and to wait for somebody else to do what he is loath to do himself. But since nobody seems to know what to do, it might be worth while, for each of us, to ask himself whether by any chance his or her unconscious may know something that will help us…” (From Man and His Symbols by Carl Gustav Jung, 2012)

One common misconception is whether people can actually change in adulthood. The potential of transformation and change is usually there and perhaps the most important question to ask is how to support this possibility in ourselves and others. Research has shown that through various modalities and processes people can heal from trauma or decrease post traumatic effects, and also, adopt new behaviours and ways of thinking and being. People can also move through grief and make new meaning of deep losses, and also, move beyond bad habits and even more entrenched addictions. Through environmental changes, particular interventions and internalization of positive experiences more lasting changes can take place as positive and resilient states of being can turn to traits.

We also now know that neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s capacity to transform itself physically, continues throughout our lifespan and does not become fixed after adolescence as was previously thought. This allows for changes to take place throughout our lifespan. Paul Bach-y-Rita’s early research showed that in cases of brain injury or loss of capacities the brain has the potential to re-organise itself. It has since been found that the brain is capable of massive rewiring in response to trauma, disease and new learning.  Another well known study conducted by neuroscientist, Eleanor Mcguire, that measured the gray matter of London taxi drivers before and after their license exams found that their hippocampus had grown significantly after learning to navigate through the thousands of winding streets in London. Scientists have also found that we can cultivate desirable traits. Similarly, meditative practices have been found to create changes in the brain. Sara Lazar, psychiatry professor and researcher, measured the brain cell volume of the amygdala of people before and after a two-month mindfulness meditation course and found that it had decreased in size, which correlated with the participants’ reports of experiencing less stress. In relation to bad habits and addictions, Dr. Judson Brewer, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist, who has studied addiction, suggests that the practice of mindfulness can help people understand the mechanisms of habits and addictions and interrupt them. Our brain is wired to move away from unpleasant sensations and emotions and seek distractions in the form of substances, food, relationships and activities. Very often we do detrimental things to ourselves and others like smoking, over-eating, drinking, abusing substances, gambling or behaving abusively or recklessly, without being fully aware of the driving or underlying, unconscious forces. By cultivating interest and curiosity through being mindful about these experiences we can more easily deal with addictions or break free from bad habits.

Another misconception that one frequently comes across is that without pain we cannot learn or grow. However, this prevailing theory of no pain, no gain justifies socio-economic and political systems that normalize aggressive competition, misery and injustice and shifts responsibility to the individual sphere alone, and in some sense, removes accountability in terms of how people behave in social contexts and what people are allowed to do to others. And we could probably trace its roots back to different cultural and religious traditions.  On the podcast Forrest Hanson says that it is wise when encountering statements or theories along these lines to dig into the cultural narratives or agendas that the view is pushing to understand what is being tacitly endorsed. At this point I should say that there can definitely be post traumatic growth and there are perhaps certain insights that we may not easily reach without deep loss, like getting to know the depths of our psyche or the breadth of our resilience. But this growth comes after processing and coming out on the other side of adversity, pain and loss, and it is actually, the result of the exploration, healing and meaning making process rather than the trauma or loss in itself, because it only comes about after engaging in this process, otherwise it remains loss or damage. However, Rick Hanson notes that one question we should always ask is whether we could have grown psychologically, become wiser or freed human potential without trauma, pain or punishment. For instance, punishment in childhood might build a certain behaviour, but at what cost? Research has decisively shown that physical punishment in childhood has similar effects to other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).

We shouldn’t forget that across the globe for most people a lot of their physical pains, traumas, oppression and losses will not bring any gains nor will they have the opportunity to take part in therapeutic processes that could support growth and transformation or sublimation of their expereinces into something positive. Sometimes sublimation might actually be the mere perseverance a person displays to keep on going. We are as a species inherently vulnerable, we get sick, we lose people and things, we get mistreated and oppressed, we age and we eventually die. And the world is not a rose garden. There is a lot of injustice, cruelty and aggression, stifled creativity and potential, but being resilient and resourced can support one in finding or fighting for justice, kindness, peace, compassion, creativity and a better life. So, we could say that resources like good educational and therapeutic contexts are those that can arm people with the confidence and tools to both seek and create the good in an imperfect world and to recover from adversity. Concerning this kind of support Joanne Greenberg writes in her novel, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, “I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you perfect justice […] and I never promised you peace or happiness. My help is so that you can be free to fight for all of those things.”

We also know that the development of psychological inner resources is mostly gained through frequent positive and rewarding experiences. Rick Hanson, PhD, suggests that the primary path to growth is through having enjoyable, meaningful experiences of the resources that we want to grow. Many of us would not imagine putting our children through suffering to foster resilience and other positive qualities in them or locking their potential through trauma and negative messaging so as to create opportunities for growth through pain later on. Nurturing authenticity and positive reinforcement seem to be more productive and less traumatic strategies. And in any case, nobody goes through life unscathed and life includes hardships and uncertainty and loss to some extent for everyone, so there is no need to endorse theories like no pain, no gain or that strong people heal and recover alone. One of my favourite actresses, Liv Ullmann, says: “Nobody is one block of harmony. We are all afraid of something, or feel limited in something. We all need somebody to talk to. It would be good if we talked to each other, not just pitter patter but real talk. We shouldn’t be afraid, because most people really like this contact; that you show you are vulnerable makes them free to be vulnerable too. It’s so much easier to be together when we drop our masks.” An attuned other that has the capacity to listen deeply, without any hidden agendas other than the facilitation of growth in the other can make a difference, assist in recovery and growth, and also, accelerate the journey through providing tools, guidance and insights. Through therapeutic processes we can unburden ourselves from baggage we might otherwise carry to our graves with all the accompanying difficulties or suffering. Just briefly looking at our human history reveals so much collective senseless violence and trauma. One reason for this ongoing strife is that what we don’t face or heal can get projected or inflicted upon others.

So, to come to the theme of good therapy, on the first podcasts Rick Hanson suggests that “sometimes it’s useful to go to someone who does not have a vested interest in any particular outcome, who is constrained by many, many professional regulations and standards, and also has been trained in a variety of skills”. I would add that it is essential for the providers of therapy and counseling services to have also done their own inner work and healing, in order to become aware of their own baggage and trigger points, and to be better able to discern when they are in the present and when they might get hijacked by their own experiences, interests, prejudices and less than optimal power dynamics. Also, most training programmes require completion of a certain amount of therapy. Therapy professions are one of the fields of work where one of the most important tools at your disposal is your own self-awareness. Integrity is another big factor, as well as, being open to new learning and new ways of viewing and proceeding with things. Good therapeutic contexts should involve psychoeducation, be trauma informed, facilitate small awakenings, and not become processes of further burying material, misinformation or re-traumatisation.  Above all, it should be a co-constructive growth experience and a safe container.

It is suggested on the podcast that in good therapeutic contexts “the scab isn’t ripped off the wound” and that the initial phase needs to include appreciation of the value of the defenses a person may have used to come so far. Then one can move on to explore  the costs of these adaptations and defenses and better ways of doing things. Rick Hanson claims that good therapy resources people first, before starting to take a look, a little at a time, at what might be behind a particular door or in the basement of the mind, and that ripping off the scab from the wound would be a little like going to a body worker or a masseur that just went too deep, too fast. This would be unskillful and counterproductive.  An example that comes to mind is like having one’s tooth extracted without the adequate amount of anaesthesia. When working with trauma we need to work on building resilience and move back and forth between states of constriction and expansion like swimming underwater and coming up again to get some air.

In his book, In an Unspoken Voice, Peter Levine, PhD, describes the process of pendulation, a back-and-forth movement between two different states of contraction (e.g. anger, pain) and expansion (e.g. calm). Summarily, pendulation involves finding an “opposite” sensation located in a particular area of the body or posture or small movement, which he calls “little islands of safety” and which are associated with feeling more powerful and fluid and less frozen or helpless. Levine writes: “When enough of these little islands are found and felt, they can be linked into a growing landmass, capable of withstanding the raging storms of trauma. Choice and even pleasure become a possibility with this growing stability as new synaptic connections are formed and strengthened. One gradually learns to shift one’s awareness between regions of relative ease and those of discomfort and distress. This shifting evokes one of the most important reconnections to the body’s innate wisdom: the experience of pendulation, the body’s natural restorative rhythm of contraction and expansion that tells us that whatever is felt is time-limited … Pendulation carries all living creatures through difficult sensations and emotions. What’s more, it requires no effort; it is wholly innate…….. While trauma is about being frozen or stuck, pendulation is about the innate organismic rhythm of contraction and expansion.”