Posted on by

‘There’s the story, then there’s the real story, then there’s the story of how the story came to be told. Then there’s what you leave out of the story, which is part of the story too’ (Margaret Atwood)

I have repeatedly tried to stress the importance of embedding all our experience in broader contexts, for the individual trip always meets the outer social, cultural and even planetary journey. I have also made references to patriarchy quite often because families are often deeply rooted in these values, and we have all grown up in systems seeped in a masculine discourse. However, when one initially embarks on making meaning of and healing the aftermath of traumatic events the bigger picture may not be in the foreground of one’s awareness, as one is too over focused on the emerging experiences and the psychological realm. However, if one is willing or even forced to move on and to move deeper, one will soon realize that it is a much longer and broader journey, beyond the traumatic events, of inner and outer exploration. One eventually sees that it is necessary to read the story under the story under the story under the story. Margaret Atwood writes ‘There’s the story, then there’s the real story, then there’s the story of how the story came to be told. Then there’s what you leave out of the story, which is part of the story too’. And sooner or later one understands that the deepest pain and violation of all is the stifling and oppression of one’s own voice. When it comes to women it is their feminine power and creativity – which seem like one and the same thing – that is relentlessly and repeatedly squashed by patriarchal structures and masculine values and discourse. The losses from such discourse and practices are individual, familial, societal and universal. So, inevitably, a feminine paradigm must be included, and underlying dynamics and politics must be explored and named. Read more

Posted on by

Easter time in Vienna and other places and synchronicities….

Toko-pa Turner writes ‘Having walked a great distance from our initial estrangement into the orphaned depths of exile, we have learned the difference between fitting in and belonging. We now know belonging is a dynamic process, requiring alternating periods of togetherness and aloneness to remain vital. We are making friends with the often terrifying Otherness within, learning to make allies of even our most loathsome guests. And we have begun to follow our longing, which reaches to us through our ancestral lines, right from the soul of the world. We are coming into the great secret that belonging is really a skill, a set of competencies at which we must practice if we are to rise to the call of an aching heart and a fractured world……… Like any practice worth undertaking, belonging cannot be mastered overnight. Because it is a disappearing art, we might find ourselves going it alone for a while. We may find ourselves disappointed with a lack of response when we try to reach out, and the temptation to lose hope will be strong. But we must keep a vision of how we want our lives and the world to look, and work towards weaving those first threads together. Even when the garment of belonging seems flimsy and inadequate we must keep to the task until it substantiates’ (2018, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, Her Own Room Press, Chapter 12).

I had always been sort of restless and staying in one place or house for too long would usually start to weigh upon me as if permancy were unsafe and as if past events and wounds and knowledge buried deep within me prevented me from growing roots. Part of my restlessness originated in childhood and part of it reflected discontent and non alignment with my truest longings and truths, and also, part of it was probably due to having moved around a bit, and finally, a lot of it had to do with repetitive unhealthy outer dynamics. My restlessness also reflected my intense curiosity and desire to travel and see new places. In Report to Greco, Nikos Kazantzakis, writes: Read more

Posted on by

Sharing…..

“The peace we desire is covered up by layers and layers of defenses against the original pain we experienced as children but couldn’t feel or process at the time. “ – Bethany Webster

Podcast by Bethany Webster, at http://www.faithshevlin.com/blog/030-healing-the-mother-wound-with-bethany-webster/?inf, whose work is focused on helping women heal the mother wound, since when we ignore it and because it is ‘the most primary and foundational relationships in our lives, we are missing a pivotal opportunity to discover the truth of who we are and to authentically and joyfully live that truth” (Bethany Webster). She discusses what the mother wound is and why healing empowers and liberates us; contextualizes it in broader settings and refers to its three aspects: the personal, the cultural and the spiritual; the ways we replicate our childhood dynamics in our current lives and how we develop a false or less authentic self as a survival strategy; the common painful themes that show up for women like people pleasing, scarcity, low self-worth, deprivation, struggle, guilt, over-doing, denying needs, parentification, playing small, etc; how the mother wound, spirituality, sense of belonging and becoming, as well as, food/body image are tightly interwoven, and finally, how to overcome resistance to looking at the mother wound, and how to begin healing one’s inner child that holds the wounds and the toxic or limiting messaging, the necessity for both internal and external work and the need for a relevant social discourse to be created to remove stigma and taboo  since the mother wound could be viewed as existing on a continuum and connected to patriarchal norms and values.